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March 30, 2005

Sad Memories...

my aunt have passed away for a week le... still kinda not used to it as no phones call from her everyday... i believe the one who's uncomfortable is my mum... She and my aunt was consider the closest among them... frankly speaking nowadays i kinda of lost appetitte ever since after the funeral... all of us were very sad especially when we saw the coffin slowly moved into the furnace... and i do believe my cousin relative (her father side) does not seem to be bother by this... i am kinda angry with them as i think they dun show any respect for my aunt... when the monk was praying for my aunt... all of them are like talking and yelling loudly... wat's the hell with tat kind of attitude... but i believe my aunt dun blame them as she's a very nice women.. U forever Live in My Heart.. Aunt.. I wont forget all those times we spend togther and i promise u to lead a better life... and pursue my dream...

Life sometimes is really very funny.. Heaven tend to play a trick on u... when u decided to forget someone.. that person cum in your life again... dunnoe why.. this happen to me a couples of times le.. but i believe this times... i will be determine enough not to be soft hearten... i dun blame him for wat he did to me... and i dun mind he dun appreciate what i have done for him... anyway i nv really done alot for him mah... I just hope i dun get hurt anymore in any relationship in the future.. Just hope we can be frenz forever even cant be lovers.. I just hope i can fulfilled my dream soon...

Kinda abit sad as i receive letter from Uni of New South Wales and they rejected my application... anyway i already think most likely i wont get approved as my grades for my 3 yrs in poly was like shit... or maybe i'm not destinated to go into the group of 8 ba... anyway i got into the Uni of Newcastle... which is the top 10 uni in aust... ha ha consider not bad le... no top 8 at least gt top 10 sch wan me mah... basically me still in dilemma in thinking whether wan to study distance studies or other courses or go oversea and further my course in degree.... both got pros and cons... haix... still taking a step at a time in desciding as i dun hope that my descision will destroy my future...

Haix.. later still gotta work at Corochan... so Sianz.. but no choice for the sake of $$$$ my favourite... he he... so no matter hw tired i still gotta work...

March 24, 2005

A terrible day for me...

yesterdae was a very sad day for me as around sven pm in the evening, i receive a new from my daddy that my aunt have passed away at 6 pm in the hospital... i really very shocked upon hearing this new... why on earth this must happen to my beloved aunt... why must they take her away from us... we just hope that she will be able to make it over this ching min day.. and maybe this will be better for her.... but why "they" just dun let her go.... why must bring her together with "them"? i know she cant bear to leave us cos before she parted us few days ago... she did cry... why cant "they" grant her wish to survive.... i really cant face the reality that she leave us... she's one of the closest relative i have... and yet now i have lost her... and i know this for sure.. she wont come back to me again le... and all the promises we have for each other... now cant fulfilled le.. our trip to genting... and my 21st birthdae for this year.. and we cant go shopping together anymore le... i know she alway wan me to choose clothes for her... and she always enjoy my company with her to shopping every chinese new year... and all these have to be part of my past events with her... i really very very regret thAT last time, i scolded her when she started to yi sheng yi gui... but reason for scolding her is for her good sake.. cos i dun wish to see her in such state... maybe she also dun feel any better in her condition... but i really hope to see her well mah... before she leave us... she haven even wake up to talk to us... and yet she just leave us like tt... hw can she be so heartless... never even leave any msg for us...

life is always so unpredictable... why god make us come alone to this world.. and also let us died alone... if really need to die... then why must god make us live in this world... is it.. because that they wan us to experienece pain... and let us suffer.... life somtime is really dam meaningless lo... and also dam useless... everyday there are sure people die.. but people always hope that it isnt anyone who's close to them...

nowadays, me have been bothering about my study loan.. just cant find any bank to loan me... is it money so important... why on earth require money such thing.. why people alway say tian xia mei you bai chi de wu chang... maybe that's the logic ba... if you wan something u tend to sacrifice something ba... or should say bu zhe shou duan to get something lo... no matter wat now the i realised money can buy alot of things... including love... cos if you got money even ur relative will suck up to u... but if u dun have they will ditch u behind and try to avoid from you.... so doesnt mean that ur own brother or relative will standby ur side whenever u are in trouble... all these are just an act lo... they can say till very nicely... but when this really happen u dun expect to see them le...

this 2005 to me is really not a very good year... whatever bad things happen to me but none of the good events fall on me... maybe this is part of passes i need to encounter ba... perhap this is the only way that can make me mature ba... on the other hand... if really require me to pass thru all these pain and take away my closest kin... i rather dun be mature and forever stay as my usual self... i just hope that my aunt living in another "world" will be happy and do visit us when she free... i really hope i can dreamt of her and let me know that she is well..

March 18, 2005

one week gone again!!!!!!

another week have passed again... now i still left a few more days to get my pay... todae go to the NATAS travel fair... got to see alot of different travel agency... me and Sze wanna go to HongKong this may or june... and we get to find the cheapest rate which is $323 for 3 days/ 2 nights by Cathay Pacific... ermm kinda excited to go oversea but nid to me to fork out this amount in one short i cant le... moreover i need to do further studies too... haix... why on earth $$$ is so important... and wonder whether i can get any bank loan from RHB bank not for my Degree study...for this time round i think i study biomedical first lo.. even though psychology is my interest... cum to think that in Singapore i cant find much jobs after i graduate... unlike Biomedical... ya todae before i reach Suntec, i went for an interview at Chinatown, Breadtalk..ermm the pay is kinda low but i can work quite a number of days... and i only get 3 days off per week...

haix.. my aunt is still in hospital... kinda one week never go visit her le... what took her so long to recover... why heaven is so unfair, all good people tend to die faster or earlier than all bad people... aunt can u hear me when i talk to you ? if you does, please faster wake up... everyone in the family is waiting for you.... and we love you....

March 11, 2005

trouble day... or boring day...

haix.. one week have already gone soon le... todae is fridae le.. lolx... so happy sia.. but then weekend always tend to past very fast... anyway weekend cum le also dunnoe do wat.. only either work or SHOPPING... Yipee.. but then no $$$ le... (ha ha kinda broke le...) :C

todae went to hospital to visit my aunt.... kinda sad to c her in such condition... her forehead gt one big bum le.. this is due to her fall on that day admitted to hospita last tues... kinda disappointed with the attitude that the doctors and nurses have... everytime ask them about her condition.. they always dun reveal... dunnoe wat they wan... maybe just wanna extend and drag so that we can pay higher hospitalized fee...

feelin kinda stressup nowaday.. still thinking what i really wan out of my life... is my life really that meaningless... or worthless? cum to think maybe ba... when one ppl in their life is goaless... or aimless... they will tend to have no sense of direction... on the other hand if one person tend to have too many goals or aims... they will also tend to get lost as they wont knw wat shld they choose... why ppl like to be so dilemma... cant they choose wat they really wan? is life really that unfair? ermm me also nt too sure perhap i shld use half of my life to find the answer ba...

frankly speaking... after so long i still kinda miss him... even though i knw he already gt a new girl be with him le.. and as wat i stated in the past posting... love cant be force and what is mean to be urs will be urs ba... nd i knw that some ppl will say me hua chi or stupid but i just cant help not thinking of him... no matter where i go or what i do... his reflection will crafted in my mind... i knw life still goes on... and just consider me myself being stupid to be cheated by him lo.. maybe he dun meant it ba... he really gt try to like me but still cant force himself to... or he did like me before but the feelin just cum and goes like that... but i really never regret knwin and meeting him... my whole life changes after he steps in my life.. and i Never Kwn that i can really like a person so deep before...

hey gal, wake up la.. is time for you to get on with ur life le... dun forget about ur dream... ur passion... let him go ba.. and let new ppl step in your life... and dun shut ur door to those whu wan to cum in...

March 06, 2005

problem day...

todae i went for the career and courses fair... wow interesting sia.. gotta c alot of things and found out alot of information for my future studies... but then nw then i found out that study really need alot of $$$$... again $$$ so sianz.. where on earth i go to dig out such a lump sum of money.. if i really study in SINGAPORE then maybe i can saved up a sum of money... whether study my own course CHEMICAL ENGINEERING... or study BIOMEDICAL or Phameuratical Sci... maybe in finalist i think i will either take up CE Or Phameuratical ba... he he... kinda ma fang sia me...


haiz.. after so many days my auntie still haven wake up yet... just hope tt she will be fine asap lo.. cos i still hope to go oversea together with her... ya find out tt his frenz also just passed away a few days ago... ermm hw cum so young such things will happen to him... anyway i do understand one thing... everything is destinated one.. if u are to dead no matter hw u try to avoid u will still died in the end... just as shown in the movie.. FINAL DESTINATION ( such a nice movie sia) life sometime is really very unfair ba.. why certain ppl tend to be so min hao and whereas some ppl tend to be so min ku...

ya todae got wrk at junction 8... but nv get a chance to talk to him much... ha ha this him is a new guy wrking there too... but dunnoe the feelin to him is just a crush or just feel tt he's a nice guy... ermm dunnoe le... abit funny feelin... but i do knw myself tt my ex still matter to me la... but wat to do ppl already going on wif his new life and new GF le so me also gotta carry on with my new life mah... but dunnoe nid a new BF ant la... if tts the case i still thinking whether to patch wif my ex, MELVIN ant... ha ha... so trouble... but cum to think if i just finding a float.. maybe i can patch wif him but i knw myself wont last long one... cos both of us are just dependent on each other.. sometime old lovers once parted maybe cant be back again once the feelin is lost is lost... ha ha... let nature takes its course ba...

March 02, 2005

another tired day...

todae is dunnoe consider a gd or a bad day for me... good in the sense whereby i released off early from work... then i go dwn ps todae to wait for RAE to knock off... after that we go for dinner together... but kinda now me still feelin hungry... (oink...oink...like a pig sia...) then ard seven, we headed dwn to Raffles' Placed for our new job training... this line is net wrk marketing... kinda like pyramid sales.. but this time i do not required to fork out any $$$... this time round got to know alot of ppl from different ages and different sexes... he he... but then come to think dunno whether can be as successful as them anot.. cos most of them quite young only but they are earning quite a gd sum of money...

todae consider bad is due to the shocking news i received...my auntie was admitted to hospital... after she slipped and fall on the floor...then nw having high fever... 45 degree celsius... consider serious condition... haiz.. just hope everything will be fine for her... why every good ppl will sure have bad things fallen on them.. then whereby bad ppl always get wat they wan... life is so unfair...

sometime come to think forgetting one ppl is it so difficult? is it by making yourself busy then u can try not to think of the past... some ppl say this is just a way to escape frm reality... but maybe to some ppl this is the only way to forget...but i rmb there's one song saying this ji de bi wang ji lai de rong yi... so to me i rather choose to rmb all the memories then to forget the past including all the sweet memories u have before... cos time will definatly tell you the answer... then cum to think why some ex gf/bf they still can be frenz but on the other hand some couple they choose rather not mit up with their EXs... maybe this is also a gd way to start off wif a new life ba... cos a person is reborn is only after he/she can leave out all the unhappy stuff and treat it as a gaining experience...